Paper Talk: Not big or Cleverley

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EVERYONE hates Tom Cleverley, Nicklas Bendtner's a psycho and Luis Suarez embarrasses himself. It's all in Paper Talk.

NOT BIG OR CLEVERLEY

It's official, England fans hate Tom Cleverley. Or at least 11,000 of them do anyway. The Manchester United midfielder, once hyped as the future of Old Trafford, has become one of the league's most criticised players for his part in United's nightmare season and ahead of the World Cup, England fans have taken things into their own hands.

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More than 11,000 people have signed an online petition calling for Cleverley to be banned from England selection, accusing the 24-year-old of being 'inept'.

The democratic process hasn't gone down too well with England manager Roy Hodgson, however, who came over all Shania Twain.

"It doesn't impress me," said Hodgson, who has included the midfielder in Wednesday's squad to face Denmark.

"I would like to think that I'm not going to have the England team selected in the future by petitions from various people who are holding it against one person for a team's lack of success.

"You can't expect a football coach to have any sympathy with it."

If you'd like to sign the petition, click here.

ENGLAND'S PSYCH

Roy Hodgson's decision to employ a sports psychiatrist for England's World Cup campaign has made a few headlines but Steven Gerrard has hailed Dr Steve Peters, who has also worked with the British Olympic team, has helped him on and off the field.

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"I had one-on-one meetings with him,' the England and Liverpool skipper has revealed.

"I understand the different parts of the brain, how they work, when they function and why you think certain things, why you bite your children's heads off from time to time, blame (wife) Alex for everything — blah, blah, blah.

"'He helps you with positivity, the power of thought and staying upbeat, that sort of stuff. Without being a drama queen it was a very important stage in my career."

And Hodgson says that while Peters will be available, he won't be crucial to England's Brazil campaign.

"'I have made it clear that every player doesn't have to go to individual meetings with Steve. But we hope having his expertise is going to encourage the players and that he can provide a tool they can benefit from."

So not like when former England manager Glenn Hoddle employed faith healer Eileen Drury ahead of the 1998 World Cup, and when then-Arsenal midfielder Ray Parlour sat in a chair in front of her, he said, "Short back and sides, please."

Nicklas Bendtner ahead of Denmark's friendly against England. Source: AP

PSYCHO BENDTNER

Another footballer who has felt the wrath of the great British public is Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner, who says all the stories and opinions about him have made him "into a psychopath".

The Danish striker, best known for his disproportionate talent-to-ego ratio, said he will look to find a new opportunity after the end of the season, as his reputation in England only works against him.

"Of all the things that I have been associated with I have only done one thing wrong and that was in Copenhagen [an arrest for drink driving]. Regardless of this I have, bit by bit, in people's eyes been made into a psychopath," he told The Guardian.

"If you are in an industry you surely want to reach the top. I am still the same but I have just not played the games. It hasn't affected my self-esteem, apart from the fact that I can't wait until I get a break — an opportunity. I am just waiting to be unleashed.

"I'm ready for a new chapter. For something completely different. A fresh start. No teammates who I know or know of me and the club does not know me and doesn't have those stereotypical notions about me."

In more good news for Gunners fans … the club is set to tie down player of the season Aaron Ramsay — who has returned to full training this week — in a deal with more than $185,000 a week.

And if that weren't enough, superstar January transfer window capture Kim … er, is it Kim whatsit ... Kallstrom! Kim Kallstrom. The 31-year-old Swede is apparently nearing full fitness after recovering from a back injury. Phew!

Ronaldinho dances is known for his love of an active social life. Source: AP

GET A BRAZILIAN

Nobody warms up for a World Cup like Brazil. Earlier in the week we saw former great Ronaldo looking like a Lindt ball in his gold suit — today it's Ronaldinho rapping on top of a bus. Click here to watch the video.

The Atletico Mineiro star was performing with Brazilian pop star EdCity as part of the Salvador Carnival — and he was reportedly fined by his club after going home with a "busty brunette" and turning up late for training the next day.

In another, more heartwarming story, Brazilian goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes has been allowed to sign a five-year professional contract, despite serving a 22-year prison sentence.

Fernandes confessed to ordering the kidnapping and murder of his ex-girlfriend Eliza Samudio, whose body was fed to dogs, and holding their son hostage — because he didn't want to pay child support.

But in Brazil, prisoners are allowed a certain amount of freedom after three or four years and good behaviour, and Fernandes has been allowed to train and play with Montes Claros — while under police guard.

MORE FOOTBALL CRIME

It's enough to bring a tear to the eye of football fans of a certain age. Former Romania and Barcelona great Gheorghe Popescu has been jailed for more than three years for his part in a corruption scandal in Romanian football.

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Popescu, who won the 1997 Cup Winners Cup with Barcelona and league titles in Romania, Turkey and the Netherlands, as part of a group found guilty of not declaring the whole amount of transfers of 12 players from their respective clubs to foreign teams from 1999-2005.

SPEAKING WITHOUT WORDS

Robin van Persie hates David Moyes. Anyone can see that. And Moyes, according to the Daily Mail, is increasingly concerned with his striker's moodiness and body language.

In a hard-hitting story utterly without quotes or facts, it is reported that RVP is thought to be unhappy at Old Trafford and that Moyes is worried about his 'erratic' form and his general grumpiness.

Although, after the season United has endured, we would imagine a large number of Moyes squad aren't exactly full of the joys of spring right now.

SUAREZ EMBARRASSES HIMSELF

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has gone from being the Premier League's most reviled player to its finest in the space of a season but the Uruguayan says he's uncomfortable watching himself on the field, where his competitiveness often makes him act like a tool.

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"On the pitch, I argue, I shout, I talk rubbish and generally do anything I can to get ahead. I'm totally different. I forget about everything else, sometimes I'm a bit embarrassed by all the shouting when I see it back," Suarez told FourFourTwo.

"Nobody in England knows the real Luis Suarez.

"Away from the pitch, I'm a very calm person. I maybe have the odd cross word with my wife, like any relationship, but that's it."

That's a shame. We like the idea of Mrs Suarez's bumping into him in the kitchen and Luis flipping into the tiles like he's been shot.

Helping Liverpool fans sleep a little easier, Suarez also said playing in the Champions League isn't the be all and end all to his Anfield career.

Asked if he would stay at the club should it fail to make the top four, he said, "I think so. I signed my new contract because I'm very happy here and I want to stay where I'm enjoying football and life. Playing in the Champions League isn't dependent on that."

That's the sugar, Reds fans — now the medicine. Liverpool has posted a near $90m loss for the last year — but managing director Ian Ayre says it's not all gloom and doom.

"Over the past four or five years, revenue has been consistently increasing from around £170m ($316) in 2009 to over £200m ($370) today, and external debt has decreased significantly to less than £50m ($90m).

MESSI HAS DONE ENOUGH

Lionel Messi does not need a World Cup winners' medal to prove his greatness, according to Diego Maradona.

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The Argentina wizard has sometimes been criticism for not having the same impact for his country as he does for Barcelona, with Argentina reaching the quarter-finals under Maradona four years ago.

But El Diego says Messi position in football history is already secure, regardless of whether he wins the World Cup.

"Messi doesn't need to win the World Cup to be the best player in the world.

"It would be great for Argentina, the fans and for him, but winning a World Cup or not won't take away any of his achievements up to now to be among the greatest."

SENSE OR MADNESS?

Former Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher says rules should be introduced to stop clubs changing their managers halfway through the season.

Currently more than half of English clubs have a manager who has been in the job for less than one year, while eight Premier League bosses have lost their job this season, with Fulham on its third already.

But Carragher said it's time to stop the madness:

"You see the carry-on at certain clubs when you have two or three managers in one season and it just looks like chaos," he told UK show The Footballers' Football Show.

"I think there should be a rule where if you pick a manager at the start of the season then he should be your manager until the end. You've made that decision and you should have to stand by that."

It sounds good — but then Crystal Palace fans might not agree.

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