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THE prickly Geoff Boycott was a fine England opener but the acid-tipped commentator for the BBC's Test Match Special radio team at the Gabba also fancies himself as a golfer.
Commentary partners Jonathan Agnew and Michael Vaughan delight in this classic "Boycs" tale when he discovered his partner for a pro-celebrity golf day in Dubai early last year when the England-Pakistan series was being played there.
"Hello, I'm Henrik Stenson. You were obviously a fantastic cricketer. We'll go well. I'm No.230 in the world," the tall Swede said.
Boycott's retort was priceless: "If I were No.230 in world, I wouldn't be going around telling everyone."
The same Stenson is now on golf's hottest roll at No.3 in the world and has won nearly $20 million this year.
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DURING his playing days it was baked beans on demand, but now Shane Warne's favoured dietary request is salt and vinegar flavoured peanuts.
Warne's former Test teammate Matthew Hayden made a special visit to the Channel Nine commentary box yesterday to deliver some of Queensland's finest nuts for the spin king.
Maybe the nuts are the secrets to Warne's slimming ways.
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THE Victorian who set up the "Stuart Broad is a Sh*t bloke" website was the only Aussie with a smile, albeit a pained one, when the English medium-pacer smashed through the Aussie top order yesterday.
Gold Coast fan Warwick le Cudennec, 29, and a gang of 10 mates were all wearing the gold SBIASB T-shirts they bought for $20 online. T-shirt and singlet sales are going off and they will become an icon of Ashes memorabilia like the Boonie doll.
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THE Australian Government is in all sorts of strife for eavesdropping on mobile phones in Indonesia. Thankfully, no phone bug will pick up anything from the Australian dressing room in the hour after play.
Australian coach Darren Lehmann insists on a no-phones policy for the 60 minutes after play so players are undistracted at the most important time of the day when they are dissecting the day's events. So simple and so smart but sadly with the same old topic..."Don't lose wickets in clumps or you can kiss the Ashes goodbye."
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AUSTRALIA'S most prolific run scorer will be retiring after the Gabba Test match, with Queensland stalwart Judy Harris to end her stellar scoring career.
Harris is the official scorer in her 30th and final Test match in Brisbane.
If only Australia's top order had her composure. She's handled every dramatic collapse by the Aussies with more poise than any willow-wielding millionaire.
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YESTERDAY'S Courier Mail front page featuring a 27-year-old medium-pace bowler will take some serious beating as one of the most viewed pages of the Ashes series.
Not only did most of the English newspapers either publish or tweet a photo of the page, popular media commentator Piers Morgan also tweeted it to his more than 3.5 million followers.
Plenty of Pommy cricket writers and commentators have taken great offence at our treatment of the Ashes this week. Without the banter the lead up to this Test would have been drier than the doctored pitches England produced last series.
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